Beelzeblog

Satan 2:1

The Fallen One — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:30:11 +0000

Could I enter Man as I had in Eden? Would my corporeal form possess the same abilities?

To test this I sat upon a stone bench in the city of Babylon and focused my attention on a young woman. Nothing. There was no connection. Not in the sense that I desired. As she looked at a blanket of woven cloth I willed her hand to drop the material. My will had no effect. I then focused my attention on her companion, another young woman who stood at her elbow and chattered on about the dull colors embodied in the material. I attempted to push into her being as I had with Adam.

I remained where I sat. Locked within my own flesh.

This troubled me and I remained upon the bench for some time. When night fell I walked the streets, avoiding all human contact. Eventually I grew weary of walking. Weary of the mind. Not of the body. So I sat again. This time on the steps of a bath house. Within the bath house men slept. I closed my eyes and concentrated.

Wonder where she is…?

Tomorrow will be better…

I grow weaker by the day.

I do not wish to return…

What was this?

I opened my eyes and the strange thoughts dissipated. I tried again. In moments they returned. This after I had succeeded in blocking out all else.

Such a strange man.

Startled, I opened my eyes. A man, progressed in years, stood beneath a tree. He carried a towel and I realized he was on his way to the bath house when he spotted me upon its steps. He continued to watch me and I realized he had not spoken yet I knew the voice I’d heard had to be his.

I again closed my eyes and sought to focus on where he stood.

…slip past him now.

Again I opened my eyes. The man was slowly moving towards the steps I sat upon. He paused again.

Darius. This man’s name was Darius and he was hoping to speak with another inside. A man of similar age and disposition. A man he considered a friend.

How did I know this? And those earlier voices I heard only moments before? Thoughts of those men within the bath house? Some sleeping and some in silent contemplation?

As the man known as Darius passed my step I again closed my eyes. He was relieved to be past me.

I remained upon my step until all within had fallen asleep. I had an idea.

Satan 1:4

The Fallen One — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 08:30:10 +0000

I learned of angels and of man’s reverence for them. Man called them God’s children. God’s children.

Was this what I was? An angel? An angel condemned? Fallen from grace for interfering with His grand scheme?

Was there even a scheme?

These questions haunted me for I feared there was no answer. I feared that it was all a series of unconnected chaotic events hurtling through time and space and signifying nothing. That He existed and had created it all there was no doubt. I had felt His warmth and bathed in it. I had witnessed others like me flittering in and out of His presence, but preferring His warmth to that of the coldness without.

Was this then my sin? Turning my back on His warmth and preferring to focus my love and attention on this world I now walked upon? There were other worlds similar to this one of which man knew not. But this world captivated me as no other. I yearned for it to be mine. And instead of it being of me, I was now of it.

As man sinned, their grew stories surrounding his sins. It was not the fault of man that neighbor turned on neighbor. No. It was the fault of another. A dark Tempter who descended from the heavens to thwart God’s will. This was the cloak I bore as I walked across the continents. As I witnessed wars, hunger, and idiocy.

It was in Babylon that man began to set the rules in stone for which they were to live by. Hammurabi’s code of law. A monument of stone tablets built to thwart the devices of the Lord’s Adversary. I stood for days before this stele and studied man’s laws as set forth by Hammurabi’s scribes. I made note of the hypocrisy’s contained therein and anger brewed in my chest. These were God’s chosen one’s? For interfering with them I was imprisoned in flesh?

They had no love for God’s creation as I had for eons. His children were the embodiment of selfishness. Their destructive ways were as boils on His world. Their sins far outweighed any that I may have been guilty of.

I would show Him that I was right.

Satan 1:3

The Fallen One — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:30:14 +0000

As man’s search for civilization and God progressed I became aware of the folly that is free will. By allowing man to bathe in this great gift, God also provided him with the cloth to dry himself. When man’s skin became pruned with excess he had a foil to turn to. A scapegoat to explain away his gluttony and greed. Why did man partake of the apple and kill his brother?

The Devil. Satan.

How easy it was. To turn woeful eyes towards the clouds and weep for forgiveness. It was not his fault that the blood of children stained the streets. It was the fault of the serpent. Man’s immorality had a source if not a face.

In hearing these stories and feeling the weight with which they were thrown, I shuddered in horror. These were the creatures I envied. These were the divine creations I had once marveled at. These selfish, immoral, and hypocritical beasts that worshipped God as they wielded swords in His name. They feared His wrath so they attributed their actions to me.

Me.

I stood on a mountain and watched as a man feverishly built an ark because he feared the wrath of a vengeful God. For all who would listen this man spoke of God. This God was going to purge the earth of man’s sins. And in the shadow of this vessel men gathered. They ridiculed its builder and the stories of a flood that never came.

The ark stands their still. Its builder had been right. There was a terrible flood threatening to cover the earth.

Evil.

Satan 1:2

The Fallen One — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 08:30:17 +0000

I watched men perish. And as family and friends wept at the grave of a fallen loved one I stood beside them. To learn and to listen. I heard stories, passed down orally through the generations of God and His adversary. I came to understand that when Man spoke of God he spoke of our Creator. The Grand Designer. Creator of the heavens and the earth. And in the clouds God reigned, looked down upon His creation, and passed judgement. This God was a wicked God and one who did not tolerate disobedience among His creations. And the grand example, as was told, was the Adversary.

And who was this Adversary that man spoke of?

This Adversary was me. I was the serpent who apparently served as the example to all that the greatest of man’s sins was pride. It was pride that drove the serpent to tempt Eve with an apple. My Eve. Passed down through the generations this story took on a life of its own. In Man’s mind, Adam and Eve were the first and from them were borne all. They were the conduit by which God populated the earth. Eve from Adam’s rib and from them Mankind. Man did not know that Eve was the more powerful of the two or that eons of development took place before Eden was seeded.

Man also spoke of life after death. Of this I had no evidence. I had watched beasts perish for centuries. I had never seen the remnant of a perished being. If this was possible I knew not. But Man knew of God and this surprised me. Man’s version of the Creator was flawed and grew more flawed as time, and generations, passed. But the concept was there.

I spoke to no one. I walked among God’s favored one’s and grew bitter. He had somehow revealed Himself to them and in the process I had become the villain. A devourer of Man and Man’s souls. All ills were attributed to the Adversary. He who had fallen from grace and the right hand of God. I began to believe that Man knew something more than what I saw on the surface. That some great truth had been revealed to them as I withered in the darkness and was eventually imprisoned in this form.

The Devil was the creation of Man. As the Devil became linked to the serpent of Eden thus did I. I was the fallen one Man spoke of. I was the Tempter, the Adversary, the Bright Star, poor Lucifer.

Man wove the thread of the robe that adorned the Devil’s back and I put it on.

Satan 1:1

The Fallen One — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:30:23 +0000

Satan. That is the name Man, in his infinite wisdom and foolishness, has given to me. Does it sadden me? Yes. Not the name in itself for it is simply a word as is any other. Yet this word has meaning when spoken. It is Man’s word for evil. It is what I am attributed to have brought to His world. My contribution to His creation. And for my actions in Eden I am damned.

Was this true? For years I contemplated this question. Not the question of evil for I know Man to be the perpetrator alone. Men need not the help of another to bring about evil. The question of truth I sought concerned my damnation. The facts are true. I loved this world, His creation. I further found comfort, solace, and joy in Eden. And in Eve I found something even greater. For that I was thrust into this mortal shell that has no end.

Am I then immortal? Is this my punishment? Is this world my prison?

As I grew bolder I allowed myself to walk among men. I was awkward and noticeable but not in the sense of who I was. To others I was a simpleton. One to be pitied. And when a fist was raised in my direction for some unknown social folly I had committed I cowered. I felt pain, yes. But my mortality would not end with it. Not as did the mortality of man.

Where did man go when he died? This question had never entered my thoughts before. I watched His creatures flourish and then perish. More creatures took their places, evolved, and died out to make way for the next. Man had evolved in this way. Why did there have to be something after death?

To Man there had to be more. It was not acceptable for Man to feel that after their mortality had ended there was nothing. They looked to their Creator for answers. Some claimed to have the answers. This interested me as did nothing else. What was it they claimed to know? What knowledge had they been granted in their short time upon this world that I was not conscious of?

I sought to find the answers. The more I was shunned the more I learned about Man and his own tragic views on why he was and how he fit in with God’s design.

Cruciatus 1:4

The Fallen One — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 08:30:42 +0000

With each village, town, and city I passed through I learned more about what had become of Eve and of Adam. I learned of their offspring. I heard amazing tales of events that had occurred long ago in the minds of Man but seemed as only yesterday to me. Twisted tales that had taken on new shapes with each telling. I learned of Eden, of an apple, and of a snake. I learned of evil and of temptation. I learned of the Original Sin.

Evil?

Man looked to the heavens and attributed all that was to the Creator. Our Creator. How could they know of Him. When had the beasts of His world discovered from whence they came? I made it my goal to learn all that Man had learned. To know all that he knew of his past. I knew most of the truth yet I knew none of it. I knew not why I was or why I had been damned. If God no longer watched over His children then why had my actions condemned me? And what of this evil that men spoke of? Was there an origin?

As much as I resembled man in my appearance I was not his brother. I did not age nor did I feel pain in the mortal sense that man felt pain. My flesh knew pain yet it could not vanquish me. I could not perish as did God’s “favored” creations. Yes. I saw them as “favored” for it was by interfering in His design that I was punished. They were the favored ones. I did not require food nor drink although I could partake of both. I understood man’s languages after hearing but a few words. As I was there existed no other. None that I knew of. The world I had loved was to be my prison and I its sole prisoner.

And Man had a name for me. Many names. In my search for the origin of Evil I need not look any further than where I stood.

13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

GENESIS

Cruciatus 1:3

The Fallen One — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 08:30:45 +0000

Was Eve still of this world?

I searched. I searched for decades. My time of torment in the desert was over. My condemnation followed me into the forests and when I came upon the first meeting places of man I was amazed. Here there were structures, and tools, and community. How long had I been gone? A few centuries? More?

There were statues and gathering places. Governments and soldiers. Weapons had progressed since the time of Eve also. No longer were they simply the blunt instruments of impact. Weapons became more than an extension of man’s arm but a means to extend one’s territory. Armies clashed and fell. Victors lay claim to the spoils. War was man’s sport. They fought not for survival but for dominance. Their selfishness knew no bounds.

For my own selfishness I had been damned. For theirs they were rewarded.

As was their Creator, Man was not a benevolent beast. Man was a destroyer. And so I blamed Man for what I had become. For what I was curse to be. For what I had lost.

Little did I know that they had also placed blame on me.

Cruciatus 1:2

The Fallen One — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 08:30:28 +0000

Did I come to any conclusions about my sudden existence?

In a word - No.

What I did decide was that God was not a benevolent God. He did not care for all of his creations equally. I was one of His first yet I had been cast aside. And why? Because I loved His creation and sought to make it my own. I, as no other, cherished this world over all else under His gaze. And in its perfection I found a Garden. In this Garden I found Eve. And in Eve I found beauty. And in her beauty I found want.

Want was my sin. A benevolent Father would have forgiven me. Perhaps chastised me for my foolishness and my pride. But forgiven me in the end. Not my Father. The Father of this world was either not capable of forgiveness or simply did not care to forgive. He created this world for His own purposes and what those purposes were would remain a mystery.

At night I sat upon stones and regarded the moon. Under its mournful gaze I wept. And when it rained I wiped my cheeks and marveled at the sensation. And in thunder I heard His voice. And His voice said “You are my child no more.”

Cruciatus 1:1

The Fallen One — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 08:30:31 +0000

And so began my century of self torment.

At first I tried to make sense of what I had become. How had this been made possible? I did not know where I was except that I was surrounded by desert. The sun darkened my flesh to a deep bronze hue as I wandered in pain for decades. I knew not where I was going nor where I came from. I probably travelled in circles under His watchful eye.

Or not. For I was not sure there to be a watchful eye. Yet here I was. A man, or some other sense of being in the form of man. I felt this to be the case for had I been merely a mortal man such as Adam or my Eve I would have perished long ago. I did not require food to keep my legs moving. My thirst was insatiable although I did not succumb to the lack of water.

I walked until I was sure that there was nothing more of this world except sand and dust.

And I cursed He who had placed me here. For the sin of wanting.

Sin was not a part of my vocabulary at the time but the concept was not far from my grasp. I knew I was being punished, that this pain was not an evolution of my being. I knew that it was He who had cast me into the desert to suffer. I also knew that my interactions with Eve and her mate had been the cause of my fall.

It was this last that I did not understand. If I had been condemned because of my interactions with His creatures then why had I been granted with the power to do so? Could not this have been avoided by not allowing me the means to do so? Were the “others”, those like me, granted the same abilities?

I wept. And when night fell I shook my fists at the moon. I cursed Him and pleaded for His forgiveness. That I knew not what my crime was did not matter. I only knew it was because of my actions that I now walked His world in pain and confusion.

Degenero 1:4

The Fallen One — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 08:30:51 +0000

I was burning.

I thrust my hands upwards to shield myself from the pain and closed my eyes.

My eyes. My hands.

I rolled over and chocked on sand. It filled my mouth and throat. It burned. My very flesh was on fire. I screamed for hours. My own voice deafening and terrifying. The sand flayed flesh from my burning back as I thrashed about in agony. The eye of God devoured my flesh as it threatened to eclipse my sanity.

Was I insane? I thought so. For what I knew to be and what I knew to be impossible was in conflict.

I was. I had flesh. I had eyes. I had hands. And I had a voice. I lay upon the sand as would one of His creations. I drew in air that burned my lungs. I swallowed sand that ripped my throat. I tasted blood on my tongue.

In time the eye of God closed and darkness once again filled my world and I lay silent.

Yet this darkness was not total. Above me were stars.

Stars? The very same celestial bodies that I had explored and gazed up were now out of reach. Eons away. And the eye of God? Was it the sun? Could it be?

I reached my hand out in amazement. I reached for the closest star. It was lost to me. I was lost. I had fallen from the stars to scar the earth.

I stood and examined what I was. The shell that housed my being was that of Adam’s. Or one like it.

I was no longer His brightest star.

In Adam’s image I had been molded from clay and filled with life.